My mother at sixty six- line by line explanation

 

                       MY MOTHER AT SIXTY SIX 

BY- kamala Das

(line-by-line explanation)

Driving from my parent’s

home to Cochin last Friday

morning, I saw my mother,

beside me,

doze, open mouthed, her face

ashen like that

of a corpse and realized with pain

that she was as old as she

looked but soon

put that thought away, an

looked out at Young

Trees sprinting, the merry children spilling

out of their homes, but after the airport’s

security check, standing a few yards

away, I looked again at her, wan, pale

as a late winter’s moon
and felt that old familiar ache, my childhood’s fear,

but all I said was, see you soon, Amma,

all I did was smile and smile and

smile.....

( There is 1 paragraph only and no particular stanza, As poem is written in Free Verse) 

. (Driving from my parent’s home to Cochin last Friday morning)- Here, My refers to poet. Poet is driving from her parent's home to Cochin air port, last Friday morning.

. ( I saw my mother beside me, doze, open mouthed)-poet saw her mother, who is sitting just next to her , in a light sleep(doze) that is her eyes were closed with a open mouth. 

So poet, noticed this thing that her mother was sleeping with her open mouth. 

.(her face ashen like that of a corpse)-  Poet's mother looked sick and drowsy. Her face was lifeless. She has ashen coloured face like that of a dead body.

(realized with pain that she was as old as she looked but soon put that thought away) The poet feels the pain and ache which is born out of the fear of losing one's mother. As a child,  poet feared being separated from her mother. Now when the mother is old, weak ,sick and drowsy, the poetess feels the same of fear again that's why it is said that poet realized that pain, which she was having since her childhood i.e, being separated from her mother or scared of  losing her mother. Soon poet decided to put away this thought and started looking out of the window.

(looked out at Young Trees sprinting, the merry children spilling out of their homes)- As poet looked out of her car window, she saw there were Young Trees Sprinting and Merry children Spilling. Here trees were referred as young trees. As she looked out of the window, she feels the trees in the distance are running away. The young trees remind poetess of her younger years which have run by very quickly. 

Secondly, there is a contrast between the merry children who were spilling and the mother who was just opposite the children. They were full of joy and on the other hand mother was sad. The mother's ashen face is a contrast to the rosy faces of the children. yet both of them are a part of life.

(but after the airport’s security check, standing a few yards away)- so poet reaches the Cochin airport and after the airport security check, she was standing a few km's away from her mother.

 

(I looked again at her, wan, pale as a late winter’s moon)- Poet looked at her mother again, she was looking pale, ill and tired just like a late winter's moon. so here mother is being compared to late winter's late winter's moon look weak and cold. Like an old person, it has lost the charm which it has in the summer season. In summer, the same moon looks bright and In winter it looks weak and dull due to the coverage of fog over it. 

(and felt that old familiar ache, my childhood’s fear)- After seeing her mother like a dull late winter's moon, fragile, wan, pale and in a bad health. she felt like loosing her mother and a harsh separation from her mother which was her old familiar ache and her childhood fear. since her childhood she was scared of loosing her mother or any other kind of separation.

(but all I said was, see you soon, Amma, all I did was smile and smile and smile)-  The parting words See you soon, Amma and the smile of the poetess signify her failure with the words and emotions. She feels the pain born out of the fear of separation from her mother who is so old and weak, but she was hiding that fear from her mother.

she casts a last look at her at the airport. In order to cheer up the old mother, she smiles and smiles to hide her own fear and promises to see the old woman again. 

.